A Love Like No Other

I recently read a little story about loving your child like he/she were dying. It was about a mother with a special needs child. The story was touching, to put it lightly. Her daughter had questions about growing up and becoming a mommy. She wanted to know how you learn to be a mom and what type of car she should drive her kids around in, when she became a mommy. The little girl's mother knew that her reality was that she likely wouldn't live to see her teenage years, let alone be strong enough to carry a child, if she did live longer.

That story chilled me to my bones. I have one child. He's healthy, as far as I can tell. He's vibrant and happy; not to mention sharp as a tack and very determined. That mother knows that her child will very likely be taken from her too early, but every day she puts that in the back of her mind & just adores her time with her child. Until reading that story, I never understood why I have always had an overwhelming fear of something happening to my son. Now, I finally have some insight into why I feel the way I do.

Before I became a mother, I had NEVER loved someone with my entire heart. That's not to say that I had never loved or that I wouldn't give my life for my parents or my siblings. What I'm saying, is that I had no idea what it felt like to have your heart outside of your body walking around. My son is my entire heart. I eat, sleep, breathe, live, and think SEVRYN. Until you become a parent, it's a feeling one can't imagine. My heart literally aches when I'm away from him. Even when he's being the wild boy that he is and my nerves are shot and patience is low; I still love him with everything inside.

The few times I've had to send him to my mom because his behavior was unbearable or he was just being too busy to allow me to get anything done, still didn't alter the depth of my love. When I think about him, when i hold him, when I kiss him, when he cuddles next to me because he's tired... NOTHING  ELSE in the WORLD matters. My bank account balance is irrelevant, past due bills don't exist, my desire for a life partner and husband is forgotten.  It's such an amazing feeling to have someone to care for so deeply.  I can't thank God enough for what he gave me on August 19, 2011. I can't explain the change that little boy has made inside of me. Everything i had envisioned for my future is different. 

I doubt that God reads my blog, but I know he knows my thoughts; and with that being said....

Father God,
I come to you as humbly as I know how. Father I ask that you look over ALL the children on this Earth. Watch over the children who have great parents at home to care for and love them. Father wrap your arms a little more tightly around the children who have parents or a parent who hasn't quite figured it out yet; and doesn't know the real joy of the blessing of being a parent. Father I ask a special blessing for the parents of the children who didn't get to stay on here on Earth as long as we would have liked for them to. Father comfort those parents and let them know that their babies are in your care. Help all the parents of special needs children understand that you gave their child that challenge for a reason--- because you knew those parents were strong enough to handle it and compassionate enough to love those children in spite of their disability. I pray that every parent who doesn't have a healthy relationship with their child(ren) seek help from you.I ask these favors in Your Name. Amen.

Peace and Blessings


~XOXO,

LyfeBytes